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ABLAZE | through the fire and back again

God has a funny way of pickin' you up by the collar and kicking your ass into gear. Can I say God and ass in the same sentence? I'm not sure. I'm not a biologist... I'm just a girl (pretty sure) who tends to wander off more often than not. Actually, I try to run as fast as I can just to see how far I can get before God is like, "Eh, eh, eh! You get back here!".


I felt like quitting. I was ready to throw in the towel. I was burnt out which is super ironic. Did I also mention how ironic God is? No? Well, He is. Which is one reason He's so confusing, hilarious, and terrifying.


On the way to South Padre I prayed over and over, "Lord, let something BIG happen!!". I convinced myself to have a super-dee-duper positive attitude. Disclaimer, I'm not a ray of sunshine 100% of the time, just ask my husband or anyone I've fired. Did I mention I'm human? Okay, cool. So here I am, determined to be a positive light-filled manifesting little child of God and WHAM! Insert, Adele.

*Adele, setting fire to the rain.*


I'd love to tell you this dramatic heartfelt story about how we came back to our little bungalow from a lovely night of karaoke and we stood in tears holding each other in a state of discontent as we watched everything burn to the ground...


but that's not what happened.


I vaguely remember seeing flames and hearing Mr. Wilson say, "Oh shit! It's on fire!". You see, I was too busy hanging my head out of the rear passenger window patiently waiting for the return of Jack, Jameson, and Jose. Mixing alcohols is a lesson I regrettably didn't understand in college...or my 20's apparently. Again, I'm human and a slow learner.


I woke up the next morning in the previous night's show clothes, incredibly hungover, with the smell of tossed cookies in my hair, and thinking (hoping) it was all a nightmare. Friends and enemies, this is not the time you want to be hungover. Trust me. Somewhere between the police reports, the grouchy KOA Karen, and the Walmart run I made a decision. I wasn't going to go down in flames and definitely not looking like this.


Whenever I'm on a metaphorical mountain top I ask myself, "Is this where you stop? Is this where you look back, point, and say, 'I made it that far!'?". The same is true for the valleys. That fire lit a flame under my ass that made me say, "I'll be damned if this is where I stop. Hell can have my guitar, but it can't have me!". Let's just say I get extra sassy when I'm vulnerable and sad.


All this to say, be careful what you pray for because it may not be what you expect but it may be just what you need.






Lindsey Lane

Singer / Songwriter / Human

Amarillo, Texas


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